Life After You
by Nydegrassigirl
Summary: Inspired by stories that I read. Eli broke Clare's heart and she decides the way to deal is by moving on even if that means keeping a secret. Future Fic. I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters
1. Hidden truths

Clare was in the kitchen washing dishes thinking of the perfect way of telling Eli her surprise. She didn't think it was possible to be this happy; she had a fulfilling job as an English teacher and she was engaged to her high school sweetheart. She looked at the engagement ring on her finger and let out a breathy sigh. She finished what she was doing and walked over to the couch and sat down. She decided to pick up her phone to call Alli and tell her the good news when she heard keys at the front door. She turned to face a very sad looking Eli opening and closing the door behind him. She got up and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck on the lips. When Eli didn't return the kiss, she took a step back and asked him what was wrong.

"We need to talk" he responded softly.

"Um okay" Clare said nervously as she walked back over to the couch and sat down. Eli stood in front of her and avoided looking at her which made Clare feel uneasy.

"Eli, what's wrong? You're kinda scaring me right now" Clare said while fidgeting with her fingers. Eli took a deep breath and looked up at her.

"I don't want to get married Clare" he said finally. Clare looked at him in confusion before letting out small laugh.

"Ha Ha, very funny" she said standing up and walking to their bedroom.

"I'm serious Clare, I'm not going to marry you" he said sternly following after her. Clare shook her head and chuckled nervously.

"You know, it isn't as funny the second time" she said looking at him hoping this was all a bad joke.

When he didn't say anything, she knew it was true. She suddenly felt dizzy as her legs gave out and she fell on to the bed.

"I don't understand. I mean is it a case of cold feet because if it is we can just postpone" she said sadly looking at the floor feeling as if her world had just turned upside down.

"No, it's more than that Clare" was all Eli said.

"Well then what is it? I think I deserve some kind of explanation" Clare yelled while turning to look at him. Eli could see the tears in her eyes threatening to fall and wished more than anything that he didn't have to do what he was about to do.

"We've been together since we were 15 and 16 years old. I mean we haven't even experienced being without each other for an extended period of time. We're just so different-"

"So what are you trying to say? Stop beating around the bush and get to the fucking point, Eli" Clare spat angrily.

"I'm not sure if I'm not in love with you anymore, Clare" Eli said quietly.

Clare felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach. She grabbed her stomach and started hyperventilating. Eli ran over to her and tried to rub her back but Clare swatted him away. Tears were now falling down her face and she couldn't even think. His words were replaying like a loop in her head.

"You're not in love with me anymore?" was all she kept saying as if the more she repeated it, the more it would make sense.

"I'm sorry Clare, I really am" he said stuffing his hands in to his pockets. Clare glared at him and stood up.

"Is there someone else?" she asked venomously. Eli shook his head and said no.

"Then why? How could you do this to me?" she screamed pushing him back. "You said you would love me forever. You **promised me forever, Eli**" she screamed pounding her fists in to his chest.

"I know but we were so young and I-" Eli was cut off by a swift slap to the face.

"You're just a selfish bastard" Clare stated coldly. "You didn't get a chance to act like some kind of man whore and now you regret it" she said backing away from him.

"Come on Clare. You know that's not-"

"Oh bullshit, Eli. What other possible reason could there be for your sudden change of heart" she asked bitterly.

"We need time apart Clare. To find out who we are and stuff" he said reaching out and trying to touch Clare but she kept swatting him away.

"Don't touch me" she said in an icy tone.

"Clare, I still care about you. I just don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you"

"Shut up" Clare said softly

"Clare, I-"

"Shut up" she repeated louder interrupting him.

"I'm sorry"

"Shut up, shut up, just shut up. I don't what to hear **anything** you have to say" she yelled slamming her hands on the dresser she was standing next to. "You need to go. I don't care where but you need to leave now" she said turning to face him.

He tried to keep eye contact but her gaze was too intense. His eyes fell to the floor and he walked out of the room. She waited until she heard the front door close and fell to the floor and started sobbing loudly.

_"How could he do this to me?"_ was all she kept thinking. Suddenly, she was hit with a strong urge to throw up. She ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach in to the toilet.

_"I hate him" _she thought as she sat against the wall wiping her mouth. She put one hand to her stomach and the other to her head and exhaled sharply.

She stood up and looked in to the bathroom mirror. She lifted up her shirt and turned to the side. She put her hand on her stomach again and started to rub it gently. "How can I hate the guy who gave me you" she said softly.

She put down her shirt and put both hands on the sink. She thought about that had happened and decided in that moment she was done with Eli. She took off her engagement ring and put it on the sink. She walked to the bedroom and packed as much of her things as she could carry and pull. She left her key behind and as tears ran down her face, she exited the apartment.


	2. Best friend face off

_6 months later_

Alli was waiting for her order at the counter when the bell rang signaling someone had just come in._"God, could this go any slower?" _She thought to herself.

"Hey Alli" a familiar voice said. Alli turned and came face to face with someone she hadn't seen in months.

"Adam" Alli exclaimed giving a tight hug. He laughed and hugged her back. Alli pulled herself away and lightly slapped his arm. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in New York" she said sitting on a stool at the counter.

"Visiting the folks, seeing the old stomping grounds, you know nothing really spectacular" he replied with a shrug.

Alli nodded her head and turned when her order was called. "About time" she muttered under her breath.

Adam eyed her huge bad of food and then then looked at her curiously. "Wow, feeding an entire football team or something?" he asked with a smile.

"Shut up, it's not that much. Anyways, it's not for me, it's for Clare." Adam's smile dropped immediately and Alli could feel the tension developing.

"Look, I know you and Clare aren't on the best of terms right now but I'm sure she would like to see you" Alli said standing up.

"Yeah, I don't think so. Last time I saw her, we said some pretty nasty things to each other" Adam said avoiding Alli's gaze.

"She was just hormonal"

"Whatever, I don't think I'm ready to face her yet" Adam said moving past Alli to the counter and placing his order.

"God Adam, you would think _you _were the father or something" Alli said sardonically. Adam turned around and glared at her.

"Excuse me for thinking it's royally messed up that Clare wouldn't tell Eli she was pregnant with _his_ child."

"It's her choice and besides Eli left _her_, remember? _He _broke _her_ heart and if she doesn't want him in her life, that's her business" Alli said simply.

"He was doing what he thought was best for _both_ of them. They needed some time apart" Adam defended his best friend. "They've been attached at the hip since high school"

"How was breaking her heart the best thing for her? She was head over heels, crazy in love with him. She was about to start a family with him. He ruined _everything _and now she's doing what she thinks is best for _her_"

Adam looked at in disbelief and scoffed. "You can't possibly think she's right in not telling him"

"I'm her best friend, not her mother or the moral police. She's looking out for herself and by extension her child" she responded defensively.

"What about what's best for Eli? He deserves to know" Adam said raising his voice causing people to turn in their direction. Alli looked around when she noticed eyes on them and stepped closer to Adam.

"You need to calm down" she ordered in a threatening voice glaring at him.

"Now" Alli said in calm voice, "Eli isn't exactly at the top of Clare priorities being that they broke up months ago with him saying that he didn't love her anymore. He even moved to another freaking country. Clare doesn't want him in her life or the drama that would surely come from telling him. He would feel obligated to stay with her just for the sake of the baby and they would just end even more bitter and resentful to each other."

"So what! It still would've been his choice" Adam exclaimed interrupting her.

"It's much simpler this way. Now, whether I agree with her choice or not, it's her life"

"It's Eli's child therefore it's his life too" Adam said gritting his teeth. Alli chuckled darkly and stepped back putting her hands on her hips.

"Well, if you feel so strongly about it, why haven't you told him? I mean you found out a month ago and you even live in the same city. You've had ample time to tell him" Alli said with a satisfied smile knowing there was nothing Adam could say. When Adam didn't say anything, she took that as her cue to leave.

She flipped her hair back and said "yeah, that's what I thought." Once she got to the door, she turned back and looked at Adam and said "it's always nice to see you Adam" before walking out the door.


	3. Facing reality

_2 years later_

"Clare, you're stressing out over nothing. It's not like you haven't dated before" Alli as she looked through the rack of clothes.

"It's the first time I've dated since I've had a child. Oh god, I can't do this. I can't bring another guy in to Lucas' life. I'm being selfish" Clare playing with her son's hands. He was the best part of her and whenever he smiled or laughed it was the highlight of her day.

"Clare, you haven't dated anyone in **years**. You are not being selfish, you're actually being normal" Alli said picking up a dress and holding it out a dress to Clare.

"Gee thanks" she replied sarcastically looking at the dress Alli picked out. Clare made a face and shook her head.

"Besides, it's about time you got laid" Alli said putting the dress back.

Clare covered her son's ears and "Uh could you _not _talkthat way in front of my child?" she said in a small voice.

Alli laughed as did Lucas while made Clare smile. He looked so much like his father, from the hazel- green eyes to his crooked smile. It was so weird how his eyes would change depending on his mood, just like his dad. It made her miss Eli even more. Anyone who knew Eli could tell he was Lucas' father. Everyone else said that he looked just like Clare. Clare was lost in her thoughts and didn't realize that Alli was still talking to him.

"Hello, earth to Clare?" Alli said waving her hand in Clare's face.

"What?" Clare asked slightly confused.

"We are trying to unleash your inner vixen; it would help if you provided some input"

"I'm not trying to unleash anything Alli. Now, you're the one making a big deal out of nothing. It's a simple dinner with an old friend" Clare stated putting Lucas down and holding his hand as he pulled at the dresses.

"An old friend that you once had a massive crush on and you've been dreaming about for a week" Alli retorted wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Clare could feel her cheeks heat up as she thought about the highly inappropriate, very vivid, very sexy dreams she had been having. He was the first guy she thought about let alone dreamt about since Eli. She could help but think about him especially whenever she looked at her child. Anytime a guy would show interest in her, she would think of Lucas and then Eli. She hated it but she still thought about him one day coming back in her life and them becoming a family. It was a fantasy and she knew that but she still thought about it from time to time.

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Alli said with a hint of annoyance. When Clare didn't say anything, she took it as a silent confession.

Alli groaned in frustration and exclaimed "damn it Clare" before walking out of the store. People turned in Clare's direction and Clare gave them an apologetic smile before following after Alli.

"What's your problem?" Clare asked slightly irritated.

"You are!" Alli yelled throwing her hands in the air. "You refuse to move on from that bastard who broke your heart and it's almost like you're punishing yourself by denying yourself happiness" Alli said quickly. Clare was shocked at her friend's outburst.

"Wow, how long have you been waiting to say that?" Clare asked defensively.

"I'm sorry Clare but you act as if you're holding out for him. There is a great guy waiting to sweep to off your feet and you're dismissing him before you even give him a real chance" Alli said putting her hands on Clare's shoulders.

"You got all that from me not liking a dress?" Clare asked trying to deflect the conversation she knew was coming.

"You have to move on; you know he has"

Clare sighed and lowered her head. "What happened to you not wanting nothing to do with him and how it's better that he's not in your and Lucas' life?"

"I was in love with him Alli and he's the father of my son. I can't help how I feel" Clare said sitting on a bench outside the store bring Lucas to sit in her lap.

"I get it, Clare but maybe you could fall in love with someone if you just let go" Alli said softly before picking up Lucas off of Clare's lap. "Now, I think this little one would like some ice cream" Alli said playfully lightly poking his side causing him to giggle and nod his rapidly.

"Pwease mommy" he begged. Clare looked at her son and smiled before nodding her head yes. Lucas clapped his hands and pointed to the dessert store they were next to. Alli laughed and headed to the store leaving Clare with her thoughts.

Alli was right, she had been holding on to a fantasy and she was stalling when it came to dating. She needed to move on. Just then her phone rang. She looked at the name and smiled.

"Hey" she said answering the phone.

"Hey yourself" the voice replied.

"I just wanted hear your lovely voice and tell you I can't wait to see you tonight."

Clare blushed and dropped her head. "Yeah, I can't wait to see you too" she answered honestly.

"I have to go. Apparently, I have to meet a new client"

"Oh the life of a public defender" Clare said in a teasing tone.

"We're so underappreciated" he replied with a chuckle.

"I'll see you Clare"

"See you tonight, Noah" Clare said closing her phone.

She decided in that moment that she was done thinking about her past. She was going to move on and let go. She didn't realize that she had been smiling throughout their conversation until she lifted her head and her smile immediately fell as she saw the man she hadn't spoken to in years.

"Who's Noah?"

Just as she was to answer she heard a little voice say "look mommy." She turned her head to see her son running to her with a small cup of ice cream in his hands. She reached out and picked him and turned back to the man who was staring at her with his mouth gaped opened.

"Hi Eli" was all she could manage to say.


	4. Confrontations

"Sorry Clare but he just couldn't wait to get back to you" Alli mused jogging after the toddler oblivious of the awkward situation in front of her. Clare smiled and gave the toddler a slight squeeze earning a laugh from him. Alli finally noticed the guy standing looking at them.

"Um hi Eli" Alli said looking between him Eli and Clare. Eli seemed to not notice as his attention was focused on the smiling boy in front of him. The little boy brought the plastic spoon filled ice cream to his mouth and gave a wide grin.

"Who, whose he is?" Eli stuttered.

"Um Alli, can you take Lucas to the park for a little bit? Me and Eli have to talk" Clare said standing up and handing over her son.

"Yeah sure" Alli replied hesitantly. "I'll see you in a bit sweetie. I love you" Clare said giving the toddler a kiss. "Love you" he happily responded.

Alli left with the boy leaving a very uncomfortable Clare with a very confused Eli.

"Whose is he, Clare?" Eli asked staring at his former love.

"I'm not doing this here. My apartment is close. We'll talk there" Clare said walking away from him. Eli clenched his fists and followed her.

Once they made it inside the apartment and Clare had closed the door, Eli wasted no time getting to the point.

"Whose kid was that?"

"He's mine" Clare said folding her arms across her chest.

"Don't get smart, I'm not in the mood. Who is the father?" he said moving closer to her.

Clare bowed her head and softly said "you are."

"Speak up"

"I said you are the father, okay" Clare yelled pushing past him and walking in to her kitchen, getting a bottle of water.

Eli stood there stunned by her admission. His shock was soon replaced by anger. "No, it's not fucking okay! How could you not tell me?" he screamed.

Clare flinched slightly at his tone. She sat the water down on the counter and stared at him.

"I didn't think you needed to know" she said simply. Eli narrowed his eyes at her and took another step in her direction.

"You didn't think I needed to know" he said slowly as if trying to make sense of what he just heard.

"That's correct" she responded taking a sip of her water. Eli growled, ran up to her, snatched the bottle out of her hands and threw it at the wall. Clare was stunned but it quickly passed.

"What's your problem" she asked full of attitude. "Are you fucking serious?" Eli barked at her.

Clare put her hands on her hips and watched as he just shook his head.

"You didn't think I deserved to know you were pregnant with my kid?"

"No, I didn't because you wanted out of my life. Well, this is you out of my life" she responded bitterly.

Eli laughed derisively. "What's so funny?" Clare asked glaring at him. "You're fucking unbelievable. You _actually _think you're right in not telling me. I have a son Clare and I never fucking knew!" he yelled slamming the counter.

"I did what was best for everyone. You didn't want me and I didn't need you feeling obligated to stay just because I was pregnant. I didn't need the stress and eventual resentment" she defended.

"So, it's all about what you needed?" Eli asked sardonically. Clare shrugged her shoulders and stared at him. "What about what I needed? I needed to know that I had a child out there in the world. I needed to be a part of his life. I should've been there when he was born, said his first word, and had his first steps. You stole all out that from me. How could you do that Clare?" he asked his voice a mixture of outrage and sadness.

"You broke my heart" she blurted.

"Excuse me" he said narrowing his eyes at her.

"You broke my heart. I was completely head over heel in love with you. I was planning to have a life and a family with you and then you just dumped me with some bullshit excuse" Clare said venomously. Eli's eyes widen but he didn't say anything. "I was going to tell you the night you broke up with me. I had actually been planning it all day but then you told me you weren't in love with me anymore and I guess I just wasn't in the mood for sharing" she said in an icy tone.

"You know Clare, I've always thought of you as a lot of things but I never thought you were a vindictive bitch" Clare glared at him as her fists clenched.

"Well, I never thought you were heartbreaking asshole. I guess we didn't know each other as well as we thought" she said as angry tears rolled down her cheeks.

They stared at each other in tension filled silence. A knock at the door brought Clare out of the stare down with Eli. She wiped her face and went to the door. She opened the door and let out a slight gasp as she saw it was.

"Noah" she said breathlessly.

Noah's smile fell when he noticed Clare's tear streaked face. He reached out and lightly touched her cheek. "What's wrong? What happened?" he asked concerned.

"What are you doing here?" she replied ignoring his questions.

Eli cleared his throat and walked behind Clare glaring at Noah. "Who are you?" Eli asked curtly.

Noah looked between Eli and Clare before answering. "Don't worry about who I am. Who the hell are you?" Noah said wrapping a protective arm around Clare's waist.

Eli looked between them and smirked. "I'm Eli, the father of her child." Noah looked at Clare and then back at Eli. "Nice to meet you" Eli said his words dripping with sarcasm.

*** Interest = updates


	5. Reflecting

"I swear I'm fine" Clare said gently pushing Noah out the door.

"I don't like him" Noah replied glaring past Clare to see Eli rolling his eyes.

"He won't hurt me. In fact he is going to leave right after you" Clare said turning to face Eli. Eli scoffed and walked in to the kitchen but not before muttering something under his breath. "Noah, trust me. He won't hurt me and I'll call you later. Now go back to work and leave Eli to me"

"Fine but I'll be expecting that call" Noah said bending down to kiss her cheek. Eli rolled his eyes and made gagging sounds from the kitchen causing Noah to groan in annoyance. Once Noah had left, Clare turned her attention back to Eli.

"Must you act like a child?" Clare asked throwing a magazine that was lying on the table at him.

"Excuse me for not wanting to witness that awkward display of affection" Eli sneered before walking toward Clare. "You wouldn't have to see anything if you just left"

"So this is the guy you have playing daddy to my kid?" he asked with a bitter edge ignoring her comment. Clare scoffed and pushed him.

"No one is _playing daddy_, you melodramatic jackass. Jake is just a friend and he's barely been around Lucas" Clare said sitting down on her couch. "I'm not ready for that just yet" she added softly.

"I heard you talking to him and I _just _saw the two of you together, there is definitely more than friendship there" Eli said in a defiant tone.

"So what if it is" Clare snapped. "What I do and who I do it with is no longer any of your business."

"Where the fuck do you get off?" Eli asked incredulously. "You kept _my _kid away from me and now you're acting like you're the wronged party here? Do you even hear yourself?"

"_You _left _me. You _moved to another freaking country. _You _never contacted me and acted as if I ceased to exist. I'm not going to apologize for making the choices I did because it was best me and my child" Clare defended.

"O_ur _child" he corrected.

"Whatever" Clare said standing up. "Alli and Lucas will be back soon and I would prefer if you weren't here, so you can leave now.

"I want to meet him" Eli blurted out.

"Excuse me"

"I want to meet my son. I want to be a part of his life" he said adamantly.

"I don't think-"

"The time for caring about what you think is long gone" Eli interrupted. "I want to be a part of his life Clare." Clare stood quiet as if considering his words. "This isn't a fucking choice Clare. Either we do this amicably or we go through the courts and I don't think either of us want that to happen" Eli said impatiently.

"Fine" Clare said grudgingly accepting his ultimatum. "How about tomorrow, around 3 at the park?"

"Fine, I'll see you then" Eli said walking to the door. As he was opening it, he turned around and gave Clare a sly smirk. "Give Noah my best" Eli said in a mocking tone. Clare threw a pillow at him in annoyance and barely missed him as he walked out the door. Clare grumbled in frustration as she laid down on the couch. All her memories of the two of them came rushing back including the break up. Her head started hurting as she recalled the words that had completely destroyed her, _"I'm not sure if I'm not in love with you anymore, Clare." _Just as a single tear started to run down her cheek, the front door opened and the excited two year old came running in.

Clare quickly wiped her face and put on a smile. "Hey baby, did you have fun at the park?" Clare asked cheerfully. "I like the swings" he answered, his eyes shining brightly.

"Are you okay, I mean after your little talk" Alli said cautiously. "I'm fine" Clare said shortly feeling tears well up again. The little boy in her hands looked at her in confusion before putting his hand to her face.

"Why mommy sad?" he asked, voice full of innocence. Clare chuckled and shook her head. "Mommy's not sad, I'm just sleepy" Clare lied.

Alli shook her head in disapproval and crossed her arms. "So sweetie, guess what? You get to meet your daddy tomorrow" Clare said to her son watching him clap his hands and smile. Clare looked at Alli's surprised face and just shrugged her shoulders and continued to play with her son, trying not to think about the meeting happening tomorrow.

_**Later**_

"Can you believe her" Eli said crumpling the paper in his hands and throwing it at the wastebasket. "She was fucking _pregnant _and didn't deem it necessary to tell me. What kind of messed up shit is that _and _on top of that she's got some lame dude in their lives. I swear I don't even know who she is anymore" Eli ranted as he took out another of paper and started writing.

"Remind me again why you're handwriting your article rather typing it"

"It's just free writing. It helps me think and stop trying to change the subject" Eli snappped.

"Seriously Adam, I never thought Clare would do something like this and _to me_ of all people" he said as he threw down his pen and stood up.

"What do you want me to tell you? What she did was wrong and you deserved to know? It doesn't change anything and you just have to move on from here. Something else you need to realize is Clare isn't the same and you don't really know her anymore" Adam said calmly.

Eli groaned in frustration and started pacing. "I know. Fuck, I know. I just can't believe I missed two years with them and now she's got some guy replacing me."

"Are you forgetting _you_ left _her_? What did you expect? Her life to come to a standstill?" Adam asked walking over to his friend.

"I don't know" Eli admitted. "I don't know what I expected but seeing her today, seeing the both of them makes me feel like I made the biggest dumbest mistake of my life" he said somberly.

"Then why'd you do it?"

"At the time, I just needed time and space and I just handled everything wrong. I loved her but it was like I was dependent on her or something. It was starting to feel suffocating and I didn't like how I felt or who I was around her. I don't know how to really explain" Eli confessed leaning against his desk and bowing his head.

"So what does this mean?" Adam asked not really know what to say. Eli looked at his friend and said in a soft voice "I don't know."

*** 1) So, to anyone who was actually looking forward to this story, I'm sorry for disappearing but I'm going through stuff and I tend to get writer's block.


	6. Nerves and anticipation

"You really don't have to do this, Clare" Alli repeated for the fifth time as she watched Clare throw clothes on her bed from her closet.

"You don't owe him anything. You definitely don't have to go crazy dressing up to _just _to go to the park" she pressed carelessly picking up a blouse before shaking her head and throwing it back down. Clare only half heard what she was saying because her focus was on finding just the right outfit. She was going for a look that would make Eli drool yet was casual and looked effortless. It was so much harder in practice than it was in her head. "I know that, Alli and I've already told you it's not about him" she sighed disappointedly turning and looking at the clothes on her bed.

"I just want to wear something different. You know, a little treat to myself" Clare rambled unconvincingly avoiding Alli's eyes while sifting through the clothes on her bed. Alli narrowed her eyes and folded her arms as Clare sighed and sat down on the bed.

"Fine, I want to look nice for Eli" Clare admitted softly. "I can't help it. And as mad as he makes me, I always want to look and be my best for him even if it just being at a park. Ugh I'm so stupid" she groaned dropping her head in her hands. Alli's face relaxed as she reached for Clare's hands pulling them from her face.

"You're not stupid, you're just... hmm crazy is a good word I think" Alli teased smiling and earning a short chuckle from Clare. "Seriously Clare, wanting to make an ex regret breaking your heart isn't stupid, it's normal. Especially when the ex in question is Elijah Goldsworthy, the broody and mysterious writer who makes all the girls weak in the knees and beg to help save him from himself" Alli recited dramatically putting her hand to her chest slowly letting a smile creep on her face.

Clare took one look at her and broke into laughter falling back on her bed. "Why does he make me so crazy, Alli? I mean I have Noah and he's really great but…" Clare trailed off throwing her arms down to her sides.

"But he's no Eli' Alli finished, slowly standing up and looking down at her best friend of many years. Alli had watched as Clare tried to move on from Eli and when that wasn't successful, she threw all her efforts into being the best mother she could be to her son. If Clare needed this to be able to fully get closure then Alli would do whatever she could do to help, even if that meant finding the perfect outfit for a trip to the park. Alli smiled at Clare as she reached for her hands and pulled her to sit up.

"You aren't still at Degrassi, Clare. You don't have to let him have so much power over you or your emotions" Alli stated calmly putting her hands on Clare's cheeks and making her look at directly into her brown eyes. "Or at least he doesn't t have to know the effect he's having on you" Alli shrugged removing her hands and smiling deviously. "The key to driving a guy crazy…" Alli started picking up a lacy blouse while scanning for something to pair it with, "… is to never let them know what you're thinking" Alli finished picking up a camisole and a pair of jeans. "Keep things casual. Don't appear so anxious or nervous when you see him" Alli advised putting the clothes in Clare's arms and pointing to the bathroom.

Clare stood up smiling, "how did you become such the expert?" Clare asked jokingly walking to the bathroom and stopping in the doorway.

"Oh you know, just a few things I picked up along the way" she replied teasingly with a wink and laugh.

Clare laughed along with her friend and turned to walk into the room and change into what Alli had picked out for her. When she finished changing, she looked at her reflection in the full length mirror and smiled. Alli had put together a perfect outfit and Clare couldn't help but feel pretty, sexy, and confident about herself. As she looked at herself, her thoughts drifted to Eli and she wondered how he react to seeing her or actually spending time with their son. She ran her fingers through her hair after shaking away those thoughts. Just because Eli was back that didn't mean that they would just fall back into their old relationship. They had both changed in those three years and she didn't even know if she really wanted to be with him again. Her thoughts and pointless fantasizing was cut short when she heard Alli knocking on the door telling her that she would have to leave soon if didn't leave soon. Clare sighed as she tried to think positive thoughts and let go of the nerves she had. She walked out of the bathroom and did a little model twirl for Alli.

"You look great, Clare..." Alli said looking at Clare from her spot on the bed, "…as does my godson. I think he just might look the cutest I've ever seen him" Alli gushed beaming at the three year old as he colored in his coloring book. Clare smiled down at her son, rubbing her hand over his head. He really was the best part of both of them.

"Thanks for helping me, Alli. With everything" Clare smiled up at Alli after leaning down to give her son a kiss on the head.

Alli waved her hand dismissively at her friend and stood. "Don't even worry about. You've been there for me through almost everything and I would do anything for this little one here" Alli replied smiling down at the boy and then back up at her friend. "Now enough stalling even though compliments are always appreciated" Alli joked flipping her long hair back. "I'm gonna go cause I have plans with Jenna but I want to know everything" Alli stated excited as she grabbed her purse and backed out of the room. "Everything" she yelled from the front door before leaving.

Clare shook her head in amusement and turned her attention to her son. "Ready to go to the park, sweetie?" Clare asked picking their bags and holding out her hand for the little boy. He nodded his head eagerly, giving his auburn hair a messy look before taking his mother's hand.

"I wanna play on the monkey bars" he smiled as they walked out the front door and Clare turned to lock the door. Clare nodded her head and smiled as she listened to him ramble about all the things he wanted to do. Her thoughts drifted back to Eli as she wondered how this meeting would go. Was he as anxious and nervous as her? Would he want to do it again? She was being ridiculous and she decided she would just take Alli's advice and force herself to relax and stop overthinking.

_"I'm not still at Degrassi"_ she thought to herself as she calmed her nerves. They got to the park and Clare released the little boy's hand and watched him run over to the kiddie slide and monkey bars. Clare briefly glanced around to see if she saw Eli anywhere and when she didn't, she sat down on the bench and watched her son play. She never noticed the dark haired guy talking on his phone as he slowly walked into the park.

"Adam, will you just calm down? We're at a public park, it's not like something is going to happen" Eli said rolling his eyes even though his friend could see him. Eli stopped in his tracks when he saw the familiar looking boy run over to Clare. Even though he couldn't hear what they were saying to each other, the sight in front of him made him breathless. Eli watched as they laughed and smiled at each other before the little ran back to play with the other kids. Eli hadn't realized he was still on the phone until he heard Adam yelling his name.

"Wha-what?"

"Stop yelling. Now what are you talking about?"

"What about Imo?"

"I don't know."

"Adam, I don't know! I mean how do I even bring up being engaged?" Eli asked softly into his phone as he watched Clare's smiling face.


	7. The meet

**Just a couple of things. This chapter is in Eli's POV so some things may be repeated. I did make a typo in a previous chapter calling "Noah" Jake but cause of reasons, I haven't been able to change it. **

Eli stood by his dresser, twisting his rings on his fingers and wondering if meeting Clare was a good idea after all. Everything had unraveled so fast and he barely had time to process it before he demanded that he be included in the boy's life. He had been thinking about what he would say or how he would act when he finally spent time with his son. What if he scared him or said the wrong thing? What if his son ended up hating him? Eli sighed, realizing that all the overthinking wasn't doing him good and moved to sit down on his bed. "My son" he softly said out loud, falling back against the bed. It was still surreal to him that he and Clare had a child together. He hadn't put much thought into whether he wanted kids or not but when he thought about the little boy running up to Clare with eyes like his, he instantly fell in love with the sight. Eli was so consumed with his thoughts that he didn't realize that the front door had opened and closed or that his bubbly fiancée was walking into their bedroom until he heard the sound of bags rustling and hitting the doorway breaking Eli from his thoughts and causing him to sit up.

"Hey muffin" the brunette greeted him cheerfully, trying to carry two bags and what looked like a thick folder without dropping anything.

"Hey" he said standing up, taking the items out of her hands. "Um Imogen, wha-what is all this?" he questioned looking over the bags and binder that had colored tabs sticking out.

"Oh it's nothing" she replied dropping her purse and shrugging off her jacket. "Fiona and I were just going over some things for the wedding" she smiled taking the binder out of his hands before opening it. "It will be amazing, Eli" she beamed flipping through the pages as she talked about colors, centerpieces, flowers, and themes. Eli's thoughts were racing as she quickly turned the pages.

"Isn't it a bit early to be doing all this stuff?" he asked feeling a bit overwhelmed. "I mean we aren't… the wedding isn't for months and I thought we were keeping it small and simple" he explained taking a step back. Imogen smiled shaking her head as she continued looking through the binder.

"Oh Eli, don't be silly. These things take tons of time and planning" she stated with a small laugh. "And with all the stuff Fiona was telling me about, it's better to start deciding these things now" she informed, not taking her eyes off the pages. "She actually suggested we do some kind of slideshow about our relationship. Can you believe it?" she giggled before closing the binder, sighing happily before she turned to look at him. "Don't worry. I promise me and Fiona will handle the little details. All you'll have to worry about is the tuxedos and helping me decide on a cake" she said with a smile, touching his cheek softly before giving him a light kiss on the lips when she noticed the nervous look on his face.

Eli gave her a small smile and nodded his head. She gave him another chaste kiss before backing away from him and picking up her bags.

"You wouldn't believe the clients I had come in today" she started excitedly but he wasn't really paying attention. He watched as talked about her clients, smiling and waving her hands as she did and couldn't help but feel guilty for not telling her about Clare and their son. He should've told as soon as got back from Clare's place but instead of heading home, he decided to Adam's and vent, work on his article and drink until he could barely stand straight. When he got back home, he found her peacefully sleeping on the couch with a photo album in her hands most likely looking for a picture for their engagement announcement. He emptied her hands and picked her up, putting her in bed and covering her with a sheet before crashing on the couch. After everything he had been through that day, the last thing he wanted to have Imogen questioning why he reeked of booze. Since that night, he just hadn't been able to find the words to tell her.

"Eli! Hey, what's going on with you?" Imogen asked waving her hand in front of his face. "Where do you keep drifting off to?" she asked softly walking back in front of him.

"_Now, now is the best time to tell her_" he thought to himself. He inhaled deeply, trying to prepare himself and figure out how he would word what he had to say. He exhaled sharply, fidgeting with his hands.

"Imogen, I… I have something to…to tell you" he stammered Imogen looked at him nervously, furrowing her brows.

"What is it?"

"I have… I have a… I have an assignment" he said finally mentally cursing himself.

Imogen raised her eyebrows and looked at him strangely. "An assignment?" she repeated confused why that would make him so nervous.

"Uh yeah" he said putting some distance between him and Imogen and turning his back to her. "Yeah, an assignment. It's gonna take up a lot of my time so I might not be around much" he told her, barely able to maintain eye contact with her. Imogen looked at him before breaking into a soft laughter.

"Oh Eli, you had me worried. I thought you were going to tell me some life changing news like you were having second thoughts or something" she smiled, walking over to him and lightly pushing his shoulder, "don't scare me like that."

"Sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you I wouldn't be around. I thought you would be mad" he shrugged. "I'm not jumping for joy but I get it. Trust me, I could never stay mad you, Eli Goldsworthy" she breathed wrapping her arms around his waist. "Soon, we'll be starting a life together. I think I can handle you not being around all the time" she giggled leaning her head on his chest and closing her eyes, feeling content in the moment. Eli gave a short laugh, rubbing her back as he felt his guilt come back once again.

_Later_

"How could you not tell her? You can't keep this secret from her forever, you know?" Adam yelled into the phone.

"I know Adam. I don't know what happened. I just froze" Eli sighed as he walked down the block to the park. Eli told Imogen that he had some stuff to do and that he thought he would be back in a few hours. She gave him a kiss and told him that she would see him later before she went back to focusing on developing her pictures.

"You're lying to your fiancée; to meet Clare of all people. Dude you have to know this won't end well" Adam insisted.

"Adam, will you just calm down? We're at a public park, it's not like something is going to happen" Eli replied walking into the park and looking around for the familiar auburn haired woman.

"It's you and Clare! It's never simple with you guys. You say you'll just meet in a park but it will somehow end up being something more. Ugh Eli, I have such a bad feeling about this. And what about when Clare finds out you and Imogen?" Adam asked trying to be a voice of reason for his friend. When he didn't get a response, Adam yelled Eli's name.

"Wha-what? Stop yelling. Now what are you talking about?" Eli asked watching the scene with Clare and their son.

"What about Imo?" Adam retorted.

"I don't know." Clare's going to need to know that you're with her and what's going on with you guys.

"Adam, I don't know! I mean how do I even bring up being engaged?" Eli asked softly into his phone as he watched Clare's smiling face. "Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later" he quickly said, not even waiting for Adam's reply before closing his phone. Eli saw the little boy run off and took of deep breaths, trying to get his nerves under control before he walked over to Clare.

"Hey" he greeted her, walking over to the bench and sitting down next to her.

"Hey Eli" Clare smiled briefly looking at him before turning her attention back to her son.

"You look nice" he complimented her, not able to keep his thoughts to himself. Clare turned to look at him, a subtle blush developing on her cheeks.

"Thanks Eli" her eyes making contact with his and Eli could've swore time seemed to have slowed down. "So, are you ready to meet your son?" she asked with smile.

"Ready as I'll ever be" he replied nervously.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine" Clare stated putting her hand on top of his comforting him and easing his nerves instantly. Clare yelled to the little boy, calling him over and taking him into her arms.

"Eli, meet your son, Lucas" she smiled looking between the two as Eli looked at the smiling boy who looked like a mini version of himself in stunned silence before breaking out a smile of his own.


End file.
